Official Results 2008 Week #14

2008 Week #14

Weekly Summary Provided by FE

Coming into the final three weeks of the season, Spitoons is maintaining a big 8.5 point lead over the field. Spit distanced himself from the pack in weeks 12 and 13, and it remains to be seen if anyone can catch him. The battle for second is incredibly tight, with 6.5 points separating positions 2 through 6. Unless Spitoons has another week 11-like performance (last place) it could be this team’s year, but the final three weeks definitely offer some real excitement for several teams.

Flying Elvis has got to be at the top of that list. Aside from stubbing its toe last week, there is little doubt that this team is on fire . Elvis takes another weekly win, his third this year despite being given no chance whatsoever to win anything after Brady went down. A re-read of the draft analysis shows the incredible pessimism of this team’s draft, and on top of the draft analysis Elvis lost his best defensive lineman (Osi) and his franchise player for the season. Easily outdistancing the rest of the league in injury points, Elvis refuses to leave the building and decides to indulge in another jelly doughnut!! This week Elvis blew the entire league away, outdistancing his nearest competitor by 32.5 points. This alone should count for an additional rank point! (OK, maybe not). DeAngelo Williams is possibly the hottest RB in the league, and “worst pick” Brandon Marshall racked up 26.5 pts on 3 TD catches. Laughable backup QB Matt Cassel has turned into a gem, excepting week 13. Rookie Matt Ryan has been a mainstay of this team in one of the only proper analytical notes of the draft. Elvis’ decision to start Lendale White over W. McGahee and the late scratch MB3 is noteworthy. Elvis poses a real threat to win the league, though at this point it appears it would take a big stumble by Spit for this to happen.

Wax On Wax Off took 2^nd this week with an impressive outing from Philip Rivers (27.5 pts.), LBs Ray Lewis and Brian Urlacher (28.5 pts. total) and rookie Chris Johnson (20.75). Johnson has to have been a huge surprise for Wax this year. While expecting decent production he has turned out to be the top rookie. He is lucky that LenDale White is constantly fixing his earring and bitching about a lack of carries on the sideline. Wax got a disappointing result from Marshawn Lynch this week, what is up with him and the Bills? There is little question that Marshawn Lynch takes the homeliest player in the league award….what is up with that look? And the teeth?? Take a look at this guy on the web, OUCH! T.O. flapped his gums to an 11.5 pt performance (gee, bet he was quiet about that to his teammates!). Wax currently stands in 4^th place in the league with 78 pts, 12 out of 1^st and only 3.5 out of 2^nd overall. Wax has a good lineup, but it might be difficult for this lineup to sustain this kind of output in the next three weeks.

Spitoons rode amazing production from Brian Westbrook and receivers Wes Welker and Steve Smith to a 3^rd place finish this week. This triumvirate is definitely one to be reckoned with. Welker is Cassel’s favorite receiver, Westbrook is amazing this year, and Smith, while an asshole , is a great receiver. Spit also got a good week out of the league’s #1 TE in Tony Gonzalez, and the Ravens defense delivered a huge 19 point performance. A review of this team’s individual performances leaves one wondering how he did not take first….oh wait. Tony Homo had a bad week with his sore little pinky, throwing three INTs and produced a mere 1.5 pts, and Spit had no rookie. Spit has a nice option in Kurt Warner at the QB position and if he had started him would have taken 2^nd this week. There is no question that this team has a ton of talent and the rest of the league can only hope for a strange few weeks from this team for the rest to challenge.

Decepticons finished a somewhat distant 4^th place this week, with a total of 132.5 points, slipping to a full 5 points out of 2^nd place and a seemingly insurmountable 15 from 1st. Decept is another of the 3-win teams this year (Spitoons, Flying Elvis) but his fortune seems to have dropped in the most recent weeks. After winning weeks 9 and 10 consecutively, it appeared this team was formidable but they then stepped on the proverbial banana peel to a 7^th and, ugh, 9^th place finish in weeks 11 and 12. They have recovered recently but that November slip up may have cost this team any chance at the title. Decepticons has the least injury points in the league so one can only blame coaching on their current 5^th place position in the league. Again, the pundits missed the boat here, stating that this team had a great draft. Decepticons may yet get into the money, but certainly their draft was not nearly as good as the analysts credited it with. Jay Cutler is a good QB (4^th overall) but the Broncos are so inconsistent, and Ryan Grant has turned out to be a bust at RB. A big bright spot for Decept is the receiving corps of Roddy White and Andre Johnson. Rookie Eddie Royal is another huge bright spot. This team does have a good young nucleus but one has to wonder how many of these young players will be put back out into the draft next year.

5^th place ended up in a tie between the Beaudoin Bros and Uncle Jack, and this can only be attributed to Uncle Jack making the coaching gaffe of starting Nate Clements who was injured in the place of Ike Taylor. This would have given UJ 8 additional points this week and actually would have given him one additional rank point, but more importantly would have cost the Beaudoin Bros. an additional rank point. Uncle Jack’s offense is clearly heavily dependent on the shotgun formation, as evidenced by the 4.25 total points totaled by his RB’s, and the fact that his main receiver was Plaxico Burress. We don’t even have to go there with the level of idiocy of this dope . UJ is finally getting the production he expected from franchise QB Peyton Manning, and it shouldn’t stop this week with the Colts powderpuff schedule again being padded with cupcake Detroit. Could you ever imagine being a Lions fan? Another issue for Uncle Jack was at the college position, he had no starter. The Pittsburgh D continues to produce outstanding results for UJ.

The Beaudoin Brothers continue to seemingly be distracted by a suddenly busy work schedule in Zurich. It is little wonder this team has done so well in the past while working in the pleasure paradise of Bermuda. Clearly PartnerRe has finally found the opportunity to allow Patrick to actually have a real job like the rest of us and not spend 40 weeks on the internet scouting every player . Little wonder this team is always so prepared for the draft, if I spent 7 hours a day scouting I would have a great team too! But seriously, the BBs picked a great team this year and were a favorite to win it all and the season has just gone strange for them. LT is not anywhere near the player he used to be, QB Carson Palmer, while a risk, went down early and is likely out forever, and Randy Moss continues to confound the owner. A review of this team this week just finds mediocrity everywhere. Not one player can be said to have had a good week, whether on the bench or starting. Larry Fitzgerald is a possible exception with his 16.5 points, and BBs got good production from their linebacking corps. Rookie Steve Slaton continues to impress, this was a very solid pick. BBs maintains a 2^nd place position in the league by a now slim 1.5 point margin over Flying Elvis, and he must be nervous about this situation given his statements that FE are the “St. Louis Rams” or the “Detroit Lions” which he made early in the season.

** update: Dugongs finished 8th, not 7th; Ju Tuck (Dug) had one sack and one QB hit removed on Wednesday December 10th, 2008 **

Dugongs ended up with 120.25 points for a 7^th place finish this week. Dug snuck out an extra rank point by barely outdistancing Old No. 7 for the 7^th spot this week. Dugongs has virtually every RB in the league. The only problem is none of them had a very good week this week, and really aside from Adrian Peterson none have lived up to expectations. Even AP could be considered a bit of a disappointment though the 5^th best RB in the league through week 13 (week 14 leaders by position are not available at this time). Laurence Maroney is a pussy and has been a total bust for this team, and the rest of the RBs on this team are not top notch players. Aaron Rodgers has done an admirable job as the QB, which is a thankful thing for this team given the backups Jon Kitna and David Garrard. Justin Tuck is a monster DL and proved it again this week with 3 tackles, 3 assists, a sack and a block (15 pts), and Karlos Dansby has turned into a decent LB. Despite having Matt Forte, the best rookie, and a good college player in Tim Tebow, Dug could only scratch out a 7^th this week.

Old No. 7 came in 8^th this week and was led by the Arizona Cardinals defense. That’s right, you read it correctly, the Arizona Cardinals defense led the way for this team with 23.5 points. Old has basically sewn up the 8^th position overall in this league, as he fell 10.5 points out of the 7^th position. The good news for Old is he has an 8.5 point lead on Jakes Blues so will almost surely not end up in last. Old almost got an extra rank point out of the week on the performance of Julius Peppers on Monday night (1 tkl, 2 asst, 1.5 sacks, 1 blk and 2 hurries for 13.5 points) but fell just short. Rookie Tim Hightower produced 7.5 points as well showing that this week this team was heavily Cardinals based, which can explain the 8^th place finish. A big lack of production at the skill positions cost this team heavily, with QB and RB producing a mere 15 points combined. Old should read up on Jets history before starting their QB in a game of importance this week.

Jakes Blues continues to suffer the expansion blues, this week not eclipsing the century mark in points. Drew Brees is a good QB, and initial evaluations had Joseph Addai as a solid RB on which to build a team but Addai has just turned out to be a big bust this year. While JB had a bad coaching efficiency rating this week, she can hardly be blamed for not starting John Carlson at rookie (17.5 pts) but starting Desean Jackson (-.25). JB got good production from the DL (Jared Allen w/16 pts and Terrell Suggs with 12). How can you not like Jared Allen? This guy takes no shit from anyone and this week was no exception . He raced after a player who chop-blocked him and wanted to kick his ass. Jared Allen is the most heavily fined player in the NFL this year which makes him ok in this writer’s book. Other than the players mentioned above, basically all of JBs team had a mediocre to less than mediocre week and it showed by the outcome. JB has a paltry 39.5 total rank points this year and has finished in the top half of the standings only 3 times so far. As has been pointed out in past writeups, expansion teams do tend to recover in year two so JB at least has that to look forward to.

Note: sometimes the NFL announces stats changes and according to PQBFL rules, the results are not totally official until Sunday 1pm Eastern.

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