Official Results 2006 Week #9

2006 Week #9

UncleJack partied all night after MNF when first round pick L Jordan had another bad game but did just enough to beat the Spitoons by a single point . This was UJ's first untied win in more than two years (week #8 in 2004). UJ tied for first place in week #16 in 2004. UJ is now leaving absolutely no doubt that this team will not finish last in the standings this year, with a huge lead ahead of the Dugongs (13 rank-points). UJ has been suffering since week #3 due to the bye weeks and UJ's lack of depth at key positions, especially RB. However the bye weeks are now over, and teams with good backups like Wax and Old must pay attention to UJ because the strength of their backups will not be as important going forward. UJ is only 3.5 rank-points behind Dec in 4th place, so a finish in the top half of the league is still a real possibility for UJ. The biggest contributor this week was London Fletcher who had a monster game with 32.5 pts. He picked off a pass and returned it for a TD in addition to getting 11 tackles, 3 assists, and an impressive 5 passes defended! Many LBs don't even get 5 PDs in an entire season. Fletcher himself only had 3 PDs last year and he did not even miss a game to injury. Other than L Jordan, all UJ's key players had a good week. P Manning scored 17.5 pts, W Parker (22 pts), T Gonzalez (20 pts), and Rod Smith (12 pts) all had season-highs, and M Muhammad also had a good game with 13 pts. On defense, other than L Fletcher, things were a little more choppy, but Madieu Williams also had his best game of the year with 12 pts.

The Spitoons got an impressive and very important 2nd place this week despite having only Dillon as a healthy RB. Because Westbrook was on bye and S Alexander is still injured, the Spitoons were expected to be crushed by FE and the BBs but instead they beat them both to move back to half a rank-point behind FE . Who would have thought that the Spitoons could almost be in first place despite S Alexander missing five games to injury. This week, Jason Taylor returned an INT for a TD like Fletcher did and Taylor scored 24 pts. He moved in front of Ju Peppers (Old) as the best DL in the league if we exclude the always-injured J Abraham (Wax). M Harrison was the team's top scorer this week with 25 pts. The Ravens started for the Spitoons despite playing the Bengals. They did not care who the opponent was and they scored another defensive TD and a total of 20 pts. The Spitoons' LBs had a total of 25 tackles to boost the team total for the 4 defensive starters to 55 pts, tied with UJ this week. Note that TE Crumpler scored another TD this week for 12 pts. Him and Winslow Jr are the top 2 TEs in the league at midseason.

The Decepticons continued to be trouble-makers in a mid-season surge with a 3rd place. The Decepticons leaped over Wax and Old in the standings to take over 4th place. This is a very surprising development for a team who was dead last 4 rank-points behind 7th place after three weeks, and for a team who traded their franchise player three weeks ago. Since getting rid of semi-retired Tiki, the Cons have gotten 19 rank-points, which is 2nd only to the Spitoons during that period (20 rk-pts). McNabb was on bye this week so it was expected to be rough for the Decepticons to finish in the top half. However D Brees torched the Bucs D with 32.5 pts , a score that McNabb beat only once this year. Because Brees has been playing in the shadow of McNabb this year, nobody has noticed that he has been lighting up the scoreboard and he is now sitting as the 3rd best QB in the league behind McNabb and P Manning. Brees has scored over 20 pts in four of his last five games. There are several rumors around the league that some teams weak at QB have been making offers to the Decepticons to trade for Brees, but they were trying to rip off the Decepticons and tried to get a top QB at a bargain price. Javon Walker has been a great surprise for the team this year. His recovery from a torn ACL has been much faster than anticipated . J Walker scored 3 TDs for 36 pts and moved up to 4th best WR in the league. The Decepticons could have had their second win of the season this week if McGahee did not get injured early in the game.

FlyingElvis has been dominating the league since week #3 and was on his way to a win this week before the Sunday Night game. FE was ready to take a commanding lead in the standings over Spi and the BBs but for the first time for a while, the team fell short of expectations. Brady was awful against the Colts with no TD and 4 INTs for -4.5 pts . That counter-performance cost FE three ranks. Brady only needed to score a below-average 11.5 pts to secure the win for FE. We have to go back to week #1 in 2003 for the last time Brady scored negative points. Unbelievable. This makes things even more interesting in the standings. Brady's stinker wasted big games across the board from almost all Elvis' players who were without a rookie this week and S Smith on bye. L Johnson, C Portis, jackass Housh, Driver, and the Jaguars D all scored a TD. DL C Grant had his best game of the year with 13.5 pts. D Edwards started the season slow, but he has been coming alive lately. He scored 15.5 pts this week, his third straight double-digit game. He is now almost in the top 10 LBs in the league. FE is holding on to a 0.5 rank-point lead over the Spitoons and with S Alexander coming back soon, FE cannot feel good about this . However the Vegas linesmakers seem to give a little more respect to FE than the Spitoons and still view FE as the league favorites by a very small margin over Spi. It's going to be interesting in the 2nd half of the season.

The BeaudoinBrothers continued their well-executed self-destruction with several bad calls by the coaches this week again. The team got a coaching efficiency of 64.3% this week, more than 15% worse than the 2nd worst team this week . The BBs started Vick instead of Bulger. That cost 5.5 pts. The BBs started C Taylor instead of K Jones. That cost 12 pts. The BBs started Gates instead of Shockey. That cost 13 pts. They started Kerney instead of Schobel: 8 more points in the toilet. Finally, they started Pierce instead of Morrison: 6.5 pts wasted. How much longer can these dumb asses keep benching their best LB Morrison? He's the league's 8th best LB but has played very sparingly for the BBs this year. Also, how can they keep Kevin Jones on the bench so often? For criss' sake, he's half a point from being a top 5 RB in the league and he's on the bench? K Jones scored less than 15 pts only once since week #3 and yet he started only three times for the BBs between weeks #3-9. Kerney sucks: he's 16th out of 19 DLs in the league. But he keeps playing. The BBs could have easily won this week but yet finished in the 2nd half of the standings. They continue to lead very easily in terms of strength of starters (156.9 vs 147.5 for Spi) but waste rank-points week in week out. The only sure thing for the BBs is that franchise player L Tomlinson starts and performs every week. He scored 35 pts this week. Without him, the BBs would have been close to last place this week. Well, after consideration, maybe the BBs will bench him soon. That would not be very different from the decisions the coaches have made this year. Other than LT, almost everything went wrong for the BBs. Even H Ward fumbled the ball at the 6-inch line and got -3 pts for a fumble lost instead of getting the points for the TD. The BBs can consider themselves very lucky that we witnessed an unexpected FE meltdown Sunday night because that keeps the BBs within striking distance of first place, only 3.5 rank-points behind.

OldNo7 continues to struggle and finished 6th this week. The Decepticons passed Old in the standings, but Old jumped over Wax. Franchise player S Jackson was the team top scorer this week with 20 pts. The second best game came from the most unexpected source. Will Smith probably got his only start of the season because Ju Peppers is unbenchable. W Smith took advantage of his time under the spotlight with 2 sacks and one forced fumble. Several players had disappointing games for Old this week. K Bulluck only scored 5 pts. McNair continues to be up and down. He only scored 8 pts this week. F Taylor scored 6.5 pts and Holt was even worse with only 5.5 pts. Holt has come to a halt since his bye week with only 12.5 pts total in the last two weeks. The only sure thing at WR is Andre Johnson who keep racking the points. He did not score a TD, but caught 9 passes and still leads all WRs in front of S Smith (FE). Note that Old's team defense has been a key weakness that nobody talks about. This week, but Bucs D were awful against the Saints: no sack, no INT, no fumble recovery, no nothing. And they allowed 31 pts and 363 yards to a team playing with Joe Horn. At home. What the fuck? The Browns D is not better. The Bucs and Browns Ds rank 14th and 15th in the league out of 17 defenses. Fire those asses!

The Dugongs' expectations are now so low that the team was satisfied this week because they did not finish last . While UJ is a rising team, the Dugongs keep sucking. The Dugongs' chances of finishing 7th this season are quickly evaporating. This team is not even built for the long-term. Old geezers are everywhere on the roster and they contribute nothing this year, so don't even think about 2007. The only pick the Dugongs made for 2007 was Oklahoma RB Adrian Peterson, and he's out for the year, so he might not be a top draft pick in the NFL. The Dugongs are almost 10 pts worse than anybody else in strength of starters (126.8 vs 136.3 pts for UJ) AND the Dugongs are at the bottom of the league in coaching efficiency except for the BeaudoinBrothers. How is that even possible? The Dugongs mid-season report is an F from top to bottom: coach, GM, franchise player (who is not even good enough to start on the worst team of the PQBFL! ), backups, etc. The only positive things to say about the Dugongs this week are that they beat Wax and that Adrian Wilson and Laveranues Coles were on bye this week. Other than that, they suck.

WaxOnWaxOff did not have respect from the Vegas linesmakers early this year despite their success in the first five weeks, and that proved to be a correct call. In the last three weeks, Wax only got 5 rank points - worse than the Dugongs' 6 rank points. Wax is now 12.5 rank-points behind FE so their championship hopes are melting like snow in August. Tiki Barber did score his first TD of the year, but it looks like the team wasted a 2007 draft pick because they can't compete this season. Wax keeps thinking that Cadillac Williams will improve, but it's just not happening. Cadillac scored 3.5 pts against the Saints this week. Cadillac is the league's 28th best RB, barely in front of teammate Brandon Jacobs who is just a backup! (6.3 pts per week for Cadillac and 6.2 pts per week for Jacobs) As we could see on Sunday Night, the Pats don't seem to intend to use Maroney as a featured RB. He's just Dillon's backup. Maroney scored 5 pts for Wax this week. E Manning had an off-week with 7.5 pts. D Branch scored a TD on MNF, but Wax was so bad that they were not even close to beating the Dugongs. Polamalu only scored 3.5 pts this week, his worst game of the year. He is an all-or-nothing player. Either he scores more than 7 pts, or he scores at least 14.5 pts. He has not had anything in between this year. Wax is now leading UJ by only 1.5 rank-point in the standings.

Note: sometimes the NFL announces stats changes and according to PQBFL rules, the results are not totally official until Sunday 1pm Eastern.

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